“We become what we think about.” Earl Nightingale
This blog post idea was put forward by a reader of mine. It’s one I’ve wanted to write about for a while. I’ll be doing a monthly shout-out on my Instagram for blog ideas. So come follow me to share with me what you’d like to read on here.
Positivity to me is a mindset. We’ve heard people saying things like positive mind, positive life. And over the last few years I have been observing people who live by a motto like this. I always found overly positive people annoying, sorry! Probably because I was as far away from that mindset as could be.
But now I get it. I get what it takes to turn your thinking around, and how that can turn your life around. It doesn’t happen overnight, but once it clicks it’s great.
My Journey to Positive Thinking
I’d say I’ve been on the journey to where I am now for about 4 years. Shortly after I got married I was at a very low point within myself. This lasted for around 6-8months before I knew I had to do something.
It was a mixture of everything. Toxic friendships, first time living out of my family home, not living by my friends, changing careers (many times), getting used to married life. It all became too much.
I really couldn’t see a way to feel better. Everything I was thinking was negative. I was talking negatively all the time.
It took me admitting all of this to myself to realise I couldn’t go on like this. I opened up to my Mum and close friends about how I felt. I began to watch more positive things, & read books that helped a lot. The Secret was one of these.
I created new hobbies for myself to keep me busy and active, and I began to meet positive people that I wanted to be more like.
Eventually it has lead to where I am today. New people I meet tell me I have a positive personality. I get messages on Instagram telling me my positivity encourages others. All of this makes me so happy, as it is a conscious effort to be this way everyday.
Where to begin
Before I do begin, I want to say I’m not a life coach. This is all just written down from my own experiences. I hope some of them can resonate & help you guys.
I began with getting rid of pretty much everything negative in my life. Anything that was a drain on my time & energy slowly got sifted out.
As harsh as this sounds this involved people, places, TV shows, things online etc. It can be very hard to do, but after a while you’ll begin to feel like you can breathe properly.
Cutting connections with people is the hardest. If you’re at the stage where you’re feeling like you’re being pulled down by someone, then start to distance yourself. Eventually the relationship will drift apart.
Add one thing in to your day that is new, and of a positive influence.
I made a list of things in my day to day that I didn’t like doing, but are sadly inevitable. An example, mornings. I am as far from a morning person as you can get. Yes they are unavoidable, so I had to make them better.
I try to get up earlier, and begin my day just sitting with a cuppa & either posting or scrolling Instagram. I like this time of day, and it’s a time I’ve allocated to do it.
Speaking of social media, change things up if it’s making you unhappy. My outlook towards it now is that I should be logging on to see things I love. Go through who you follow on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram, and start to hit unfollow on anyone that brings your mood down and doesn’t inspire passion and creativity.
Changing Your Wording & Thoughts
“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” – The Twits by Roald Dahl.
This is a huge one. The way we speak to ourselves can impact our whole mindset.
It’s simple things like changing “I can’t do that”, to “I hope to be able to do that soon.” Plus changing “what if’s” in a negative sense to positive.
“What if something goes wrong?” Instead say, “Imagine if this turns out to be really successful!”
When someone is offering you advice or a compliment, take it & say thank you. Don’t shoot down their words. We are so hard on ourselves with compliments and often reply with, “Oh thanks, it was only in the sale!” Or, “Thanks, but it’s make up covering up a hundred sins!”
Change things up to “Thank you, it’s a favourite of mine too.” Or “thank you, you’ve made my day!”
For taking advice say similar things also. There is nothing more harmful to yourself than constantly believing that you can’t do something, or don’t deserve something.
A, “I won’t be able to do that” or “I’ve never been good at that though”, will soon become “I think it’s time to give it a go,” and “tell me more about how it works for you.”
Spend Your Time Wisely
Once you realise that your time is precious then this will change your mindset. Imagine negative things as minutes of the day. The more time you spend talking about them or doing them they eventually become huge parts of your life & time.
You’re giving away your precious time & energy to something harmful. Now imagine all the good you could have done in that time.
Reward yourself by seeing how long you have spent doing something good & caring for yourself.
If you got up & walked away from a negative conversation, say well done to yourself. Rather than aimlessly scrolling social media, spend the time reading or watching your favourite programme. You’ll feel much more uplifted.
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of.” Benjamin Franklin
If you do find yourself not being able to break off from social media then go for a walk & leave your phone at home. Or put your phone on silent upstairs whilst you’re downstairs watching something.
There was a time when they weren’t permanently at our finger tips.
Taking It Day By Day
It has been weeks since I started writing this post, and that is because each day is not always rosy.
We each go through things in our lives that can rock us, upset us, and make us feel down. Staying positive is hard. But if I’ve learnt anything over the last few weeks it’s indeed that a lot can be said for staying positive.
I’m a huge believer in visualising how you want things to happen. I believe that talking positively to yourself helps you achieve more. I also love setting affirmations for my days, and goals.
When you give yourself time to do & practice each of these I guarantee you’ll see a shift in your daily emotions and outlook.
By adding something good to your routine, being kinder to yourself, and changing your mindset & words, it will lead to a more positive you.
Positivity is contagious, people want to be around it because they want to feel uplifted. That’s natural isn’t it? We want to feel good more often than not. So let’s start that positivity train.
I hope you enjoyed this post. I would love to know what you thought of it. I’m still on a journey with all of this, and still have a lot to master. But by taking each day at a time, I and you, will get there.
Let me know your thoughts.