*Image from E.Hutchings.
So at the end of this week it is the day that people either love, hate, do anything to absolutely avoid. Or some people use the day to make plans to acknowledge it but hate it all at the same time. That day is indeed… Valentine’s Day.
Over the years my mind has changed so much on this day! When I was younger I actually used to think that it was more of a day for singles.
I used to think that today was the one chance you legitimately had to approach your crush, with no inhibitions. Today was the chance to send them a card to show them that they were your chosen valentine. When I still put it like that I actually like the sound of it.
We’d always joke at school about how many cards you’d receive! Each year I would solidly get 1, from Mum and Dad, and every now and then I’d get a surprise one from “?”.
I’d always feel so embarrassed but walk with more of a spring in my step that someone out there actually liked me.
I remember one year, I think it was year 9, I actually approached my high school crush after school and gave him a valentines card!
I couldn’t believe myself, but that day filled me with confidence. I don’t know why, as for the rest of year and time at high school, I would walk in the opposite direction to my crush and sometimes go out the way to avoid him; what is the point in that?
My Girl movie image
As I got older though and I had my first proper boyfriend, my feelings for Valentines day changed.
When you’re a teenager you want to show off your relationship but you constantly think that if you celebrate V-Day out in public then everyone is just looking at you as “young love” and “isn’t that sweet”. I found that really intimidating.
I hated being thought of like we were only out because it’s this particular day. So one year we just decided to chill at home and I received a bunch of 24 red roses from him, I loved that bunch of flowers so much. Even though all I could think of was the cost of them!!
Now this particular time was about 12 years ago, so way before Instagram, this particular moment was really special as it was private to us. I had no feelings or desires to share pictures of this special gift with anyone.
I told my friends what I had got but the actual notion of telling strangers was not in our minds then!
That brings me up to today!
Have we lost sight of what Valentine’s Day is for? With the introduction of social media, any day were we are meant to swap gifts or shower people with love, are now turning in to a bit of a competition.
It puts the thought in your mind of “well, if you don’t go all out, is there any point?” But, that’s only true if we let ourselves think like that!
I actually hate seeing pictures like the following …
*Pinterest and Instagram images
I mean on a practical level, what are you meant to do with that many flowers? And I love flowers!
I asked a couple of my friends what they thought of Valentine’s and one of them replied with, “commercialsed shit!”
On the level of these photos being flung at us as “#goals”, then I would have to agree. I buy flowers regularly throughout the year, so I’m not prepared to receive a bunch that is triple the price to what it will be the week after.
Now, I’m not a downer about this day, I’ve always loved it! Which is why I really related to what some of my other friends think about this particular day.
As you get older and life really does get in the way of a lot of things, be it work, kids, family, friends or health, we actually spend less and less time spending quality time with the ones we love.
So why not take one special day to really be together and show each other how much you love each other. This doesn’t have to be a big display of soppy emotion, it can just be a little card, a lovely night in together, with a home cooked meal, and a good movie.
I’m taking my own advice this year and doing this. Me and Ste have been together for 10 years this year, so more than ever we need an evening in to reminisce! There is a lot to say for actually just taking the time out to really pay attention to each other, old school style, with NO mobiles interfering!
When I started writing ideas for this blog, I was initially going to talk about bargain-but-good gift ideas, or ideas of things to do.
But after talking to people, what hit me more is how much pressure people feel about this day and how when you ask them, so many people get their backs up straight away and say “oh we just do cards”, or “I’m single, why would I bother?” So I actually hope this may change some of your minds.
It doesn’t matter if you’re single, you can either have a “Gal-entines” day with your gal pals, or dare yourself to approach the person you like!!
If you’re in a relationship, don’t worry about “goals” and other people, just do what makes you guys happy.
Spoil the people you love that are around you, as without getting deep, you never know what is round the corner, so make someone smile on Valentine’s Day!
Wishing you all a very Happy V-Day.
Until next time,